


The Journals of Eddie Kaspbrak

by ReddieOrNot (cajungirlkye)



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everyone is Alive Except Georgie Denbrough, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24956776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cajungirlkye/pseuds/ReddieOrNot
Summary: Eddie discovers some journals of his from when he was a kid and reflects while reading over them.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 19
Kudos: 69





	The Journals of Eddie Kaspbrak

"Come on, just open it," Eddie Kaspbrak said to himself as he eyed the dusty cardboard box marked  _ Derry _ . "It can't be that bad."

He had discovered the box while collecting his things from his and his now ex-wife's formerly shared home. It had been tucked into a corner of the attic along with the few things that Eddie had kept of his mother's when she had passed -- mostly vinyl records that had actually been his father's. Eddie hadn't remembered putting the box in the attic when he and Myra had bought their townhouse, but he now attributed that to clown amnesia rather than his own faulty memory.

He huffed out a breath and reached for the box, slicing through the packing tape that had been securing the box shut, then flipped the lid open.  _ Here goes.  _

He peeked into the box and froze.  _ Holy shit. _

He reached in and pulled out a cassette tape and stack of leather-bound journals, all labeled. _Eddie, age 11,_ was written in his neat penmanship on the top one. _Eddie, age 12… Eddie, Age 13…_ All the way to _Eddie, age_ _16_ , when his mother had moved them out of Derry.

He flipped open the earliest one and bit back a laugh. 

_Dear journal_ , it read, _Richie_ _and I went to the arcade today. One day I'm going to beat him at Street Fighter._

Another one read,  _ Dear journal, Mommy let me go stay at Richie's house tonight because she will be out late playing bingo with Aunt Sally. I like staying at Richie's house because his mom and dad are nice and let us have ice cream. _

He giggled at a later entry. _ Dear journal, I like it when Richie puts an arm around my shoulder or holds my hand when we jump into the quarry together. He thinks Bill is my best friend, but really it's him. But I won't tell him that, though. It's a secret. _

Eddie finished reading through the first journal, then decided to bring the other ones to bed with him.

He climbed into bed and began reading his journal from when he was twelve.

_ Dear journal, _

_ Bill's little brother went missing today. He was out playing and never came home. Mommy says that I have to be extra careful and don't wander off by myself, and to be sure to be home before dark. _

Eddie frowned.  _ Poor Georgie. _ Bill had been traumatized by Georgie's death for years, as evidenced by his writing. Bill's latest book, however, had been praised for its ending and actually won an Edgar award. The Losers had all celebrated the nomination by presenting Bill with a bust of Edgar Alan Poe's head, which Bill had proudly on display next to his actual award in his home office.

_ Closure _ , Eddie thought.  _ Like all of us, Bill needed closure. _

Eddie purposely skipped his journal from age 13, deciding that he'd rather not revisit that year just yet. Instead, he opened his journal from age 14. 

_ Dear journal, Richie told a really funny joke at lunch today. I tried not to laugh but I couldn't help it. _

_ Dear journal, Bill's moving away. He promised he'd call and write once he and his parents get settled, but then again so did Bev and Stan and neither of them ever did. _

_ Dear journal, Richie was extra quiet at lunch today. He kept looking at me when he thought I wasn't looking. I hope he's ok. _

Eddie shook his head and continued on to the next journal.

_Dear_ _journal,_

_ I had a dream about Richie last night and I woke up with an erection. Coach McGee said in health class that it's normal for boys my age to wake up like that, so it's okay that I was dreaming about Richie, right? _

_ Dear journal, Richie accidentally brushed my hand with his today during Chem lab and I had to mentally recite the Pledge of Allegiance 3 times to get my sudden boner to go down. _

_ Dear journal, _

_ I think I may like boys. _

Eddie huffed. Had he found these journals 15 years prior, he might've saved himself from a loveless marriage (on his part, anyway -- he thought Myra may have loved him in her own way, although he had a sneaking suspicion that her resemblance to his mother in both physical appearance and overbearing behavior was also a result of the fucking clown).

He picked up his final journal.

_ Dear journal, Mommy says we're moving to New York to be near Aunt Sally. I don't want to go. _

_ Dear journal, Richie cried when I told him I was moving.  _

_...I cried too. _

_ Dear journal, Richie made me a mixtape but told me not to listen to it until I got to New York, so I'm putting it in the box with my journals for safekeeping until I can get them unpacked. _

Eddie's heart clenched.  _ The mixtape _ . He had never gotten a chance to listen to it.

He flipped to the final journal entry.

_ Dear journal, _

_ I'm in love with Richie. _

"Eds?"

Eddie startled and looked over to the other side of the bed.

Richie was squinting at him sleepily, his dark curly hair a halo around his head. "You ok, babe? Wha' time is it?"

Eddie looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand.  **2:16 AM** . "Shit, sorry, Rich. I finally got around to unpacking that box of stuff from Derry and it was a bunch of my old journals from when I was a kid. I got sucked into reading them."

"Mmm," Richie mumbled in acknowledgement. 

Eddie set the last journal on the nightstand with the others and clicked off his lamp, snuggling into Richie's side and wrapping an arm around Richie's waist.

Richie placed his hand over Eddie's, bringing it up to his mouth for a kiss then back down to his chest. "Love you, Eds."

Eddie placed a kiss on Richie's shoulder blade and snuggled in closer. "Love you too, Rich."

He mentally drafted a brand-new journal entry as he drifted off to sleep.

_ Dear journal, _

_ I'm going to ask Richie to marry me tomorrow. _


End file.
